Utopia

Most of you have probably heard about this, but it’s so brilliant I’m sure you’ll put up with my recounting it. The majority of us are in the grips of exams at the moment, be they GCSEs, AS’s, A2’s or perhaps even prelims, so I reckon we could all do with a laugh. OCR, the exam board operated by the two most prestigious universities in this country, and arguably the world, together with the Royal Society of Arts, made a small error this week. On the back of their music GCSE paper was printed the answers to that exam. Two years ago I myself sat that exam, and I’m not really sure what I’d have done if I’d found the answers on the back. Well obviously I’d have copied them, but it just seems too good to be true; like they’re trying to trick you. The best thing about it is that as yet they haven’t decided what to do about it.

It’s really restored my faith in the world; we put up a serious façade around exams - they determine the course of our lives and all that - but in the end the people responsible for devising them are just as retarded as the rest of us.

It’s bloody fantastic

This is yet another reason why people should not be able to make up their own religion.  You didn’t get shit like this five hundred years ago.  You did of course have to put up with the occasional burning or two, and the theoretical age of marriage was 3, but that wasn’t usually allowed.

Bunch of freaks.

If you’re interested then leave me a comment and I’ll pick you up an application form. You’ll have to be at least 16 I’m afraid, and I’ll only put a good word in for you if you deserve it

I saw an article about this over breakfast on Tuesday, which I found quite disgusting tbh.  The idea of the website (called Miss Bimbo), which I won’t give a link for, because I’m sure you’re all impressionable young teenage girls, lol, is: you create a character and proceed to buy it bigger and bigger tits until you achieve the ultimate aim; snagging a billionaire.  Surely it is immoral to indoctrinate the pre-teens this site is aimed at into thinking that the ultimate aim of one’s life should be to marry a filthy rich man, and the only way to get one of those is through plastic surgery?  Why bother with school at all?  To hell with VI form.  University?  Does it come with free implants?  No?  Then no thank you.  Aside from everything else, there simply aren’t enough billionaires to go around, so sorry girls.

In other news,  this was quite frankly horrifying.  Possibly the most disturbing part was one of the girls saying that after so much abuse, having a line of guys taking turns to have sex with her seemed normal.  They were effectively turned into sex slaves for Christ’s sake.  If it had been Africa, or even America, I would have been less shocked, given the lawlessness of such nations, but Lancashire?  Blackpool, mushy peas and sticks of rock are what springs to most people’s minds when that county is mentioned, but child sex slaves?  Wtf?

Somewhat less dramatically, I always puzzled as to why they remade Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, and having recently seen some adverts for the new film, as it’s on god damn ITV, I have come to a conclusion…money.  The original was perfect, but from what I’ve seen, Johnny Depp makes a mockery of Willy Wonker.  I blame America personally.

I bought my first pint today, despite having turned eighteen a month ago, lol.  Something I learned a couple of weeks ago; Henry VIII named his twelve massive siege guns after the apostles!  So beware the wrath of St. Peter, or he’ll blow your house down.

I’d had a long day at work, but apart from that the day had been rather good; that is until I sat down at 9pm to watch Lewis. There I was, looking forward to one of the very few tv programmes I actually enjoy, and something else came on instead. Confused, I checked ITV’s website, to be greeted with the message: ‘Lewis has finished for now, but please stay tuned for updates on when he’ll return…’. There have only been three or four episodes since it started! They bloody well advertised it for longer than it lasted. Is it too much to ask to have a decent television programme on Sunday evenings for a prolonged period of time? It’s very relaxing to be immersed in Oxford’s dreaming spires for a couple of hours before bed and then the tedium that is Monday morning. I know it’s silly to get annoyed over things like this, but it’s the only programme I watch ITV for and you’d think they’d make more than three episodes at a time.
World poverty, AIDS epidemics and the Labour government are of course more important and deplorable features of our planet, but we can’t spend all our time worrying about how to rid ourselves of them; once in a while we should allow ourselves time to complain about the things that get on our nerves as we trundle through our lives. (And yes, this paragraph is solely an attempt to justify writing a blog about a television programme not being on, as I recognise how wholly ridiculous it is so to do).
I wish the head of ITV were here right now so I could give him a piece of my mind…

For fuck’s sake, what the fuck does Heather Mills need with £24.3m?  She’s employed and was employed during the marriage so why does she deserve any money from her ex-husband?  She requested £125m!  She says she needs £600,000PA to live on.  WTF?  I couldn’t spend that much if I tried.  She’s an immature and spoiled model who resorted to throwing water over Sir Paul’s lawyer.  She doesn’t deserve a penny for Christ’s sake.
Bitch

To be honest the only reason I started this latest blog was so there would be a picture by my comments on Caitlin’s blog, which I imagine you’ll already be aware of as I’m pretty sure the only person who’ll ever see this will be Caitlin herself.  If not, then hi

Found out today that I got 97/120 in my January Latin retake rather than the 97% I’d been told, which is the renewed drive referenced above.  The pressure’s back on for June now…great -.-

From now on all following blogs will merely be pasted here from my various other blogs.